Saturday, February 21, 2009
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Little Johnny Gets Promoted
A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. One day she asked Johnny what his problem was he replied, "I'm too smart for the first grade, my sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than her to." The teacher took him to the principals office and explained the situation to the principal.
The principal told her that he would give Johnny a test, and if he failed to answer one question he would have to go back to the first grade and be quiet.
The teacher and Johnny both agreed.
Principal: "what is 3 x 3" Johnny: "9"
Principal: "6 x 6" Johnny: "36"
And so it went on like this, the principal asked him every question a third grader should know. Finally after about an hour he told the teacher "I see no reason Johnny can't go to the third grade, he answered all of my questions right."
The teacher asked if she could ask him some questions. The principal and Johnny agree.
Teacher: "What does a cow have 4 of that I only have 2 of? Johnny: "Legs"
Teacher: "What do you have in your pants that I don't have?" the principal gasps but before he can stop him from answering Johnny says, "pockets"
Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?" Johnny: "Pants"
Teacher: "What starts with F and ends with K and means a lot of excitement?" Johnny: "Firetruck"
The principal breaths a big sigh of relief and says "Put Johnny in the fifth grade, I got the last 4 questions wrong myself.
The principal told her that he would give Johnny a test, and if he failed to answer one question he would have to go back to the first grade and be quiet.
The teacher and Johnny both agreed.
Principal: "what is 3 x 3" Johnny: "9"
Principal: "6 x 6" Johnny: "36"
And so it went on like this, the principal asked him every question a third grader should know. Finally after about an hour he told the teacher "I see no reason Johnny can't go to the third grade, he answered all of my questions right."
The teacher asked if she could ask him some questions. The principal and Johnny agree.
Teacher: "What does a cow have 4 of that I only have 2 of? Johnny: "Legs"
Teacher: "What do you have in your pants that I don't have?" the principal gasps but before he can stop him from answering Johnny says, "pockets"
Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?" Johnny: "Pants"
Teacher: "What starts with F and ends with K and means a lot of excitement?" Johnny: "Firetruck"
The principal breaths a big sigh of relief and says "Put Johnny in the fifth grade, I got the last 4 questions wrong myself.
Elderly Foreplay
Elderly Foreplay
The first old woman told the second old woman that sometimes she gets
her husband excited at night by getting totally naked, lying in bed and
putting both legs behind her head, yoga style.
The second old woman thought that this was a great idea, so that night
when her husband went in the bathroom to get ready for bed, she got
totally naked and began the process of putting her
legs behind her head.
The first leg was kind of tough to put in place as she
was a bit arthritic. However, she finally got it in place.
She had an even tougher time with the second leg, so
she rocked herself backwards until she finally got it behind her head.
However, she had rocked just a little too hard so that she flipped
slightly backwards and got stuck with her butt sticking straight up in
the air. It was just then that her husband came out of the bathroom.
'Gladys!' he exclaimed.' For heavens sake, comb your hair and put your
teeth in ... You look like an :moonhole.'
The first old woman told the second old woman that sometimes she gets
her husband excited at night by getting totally naked, lying in bed and
putting both legs behind her head, yoga style.
The second old woman thought that this was a great idea, so that night
when her husband went in the bathroom to get ready for bed, she got
totally naked and began the process of putting her
legs behind her head.
The first leg was kind of tough to put in place as she
was a bit arthritic. However, she finally got it in place.
She had an even tougher time with the second leg, so
she rocked herself backwards until she finally got it behind her head.
However, she had rocked just a little too hard so that she flipped
slightly backwards and got stuck with her butt sticking straight up in
the air. It was just then that her husband came out of the bathroom.
'Gladys!' he exclaimed.' For heavens sake, comb your hair and put your
teeth in ... You look like an :moonhole.'
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